-Kristal DeSantis, LMFT
Western New Year begins on January 1st and that day marks a "new start" to the year that many of us celebrate. However, Asian New Year was on January 25th. Much of the non-Western world just celebrated their "new start" to the year this past weekend. In honor of the idea we always get a take two, here is another Happy New Year post. It's never too late to begin again.
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Thoughts for the New Year,
I want to ask you to sit with yourself on this first Monday of this brand new year and ask yourself a couple of soul-examining questions. Are you ready? Grab a pen and paper or your journal and write down your honest answers to the three questions below.
Question #1
"Am I living my best possible life?"
Often we get so busy in the day to day minutia of life that we can tend to lose focus on the bigger goals of living well, living fulfilled, living as our best possible selves.
Now, sit with yourself for you a moment and reflect on this next question. Really ask yourself.
Question #2
"What in my life, as it is right now, is working for me?"
What does living well look like to you? And, are your day to day actions bringing you closer to that goal or taking you farther away from the life you want to be living?
Question #3
"What is one thing, that is in my power to change or attain, that would bring me one step closer to a more fulfilled and happy life?"
There is question that we ask children a lot: "what do you what to be when you grow up"? Often we adults see that question as something only children have the luxury of actually thinking about. After all, who has time to imagine a different life, when this one is demanding time, energy, and your constant attention?
However, the New Year is a perfect time to re-imagine this question, not necessarily as "what do you want to be when you grow up", but maybe as "who do you want to be?" That reframing of the question can allow you to stay within the life you live now, ie: you don't need to quit your job, move states, and start over; but it bring focus more on living it with intention. Beginning with the intention of who you want to be in the world, how you want to show up in your relationships, and how you want to be treated by your partners is an internal shift that begins on the inside.
If you have been unsatisfied in your life or relationships and have tended to focus on an external change to hopefully get you to where you want to be: ie, "if I just made more money, I would be happier; if I just lost 20 lbs I would be more confident; if my partner just would step up more, our relationship would be amazing", and have not experienced the desired changes; then why not make this your year of changing your approach?
Make this your year of focusing on internal change that you can make on your own. Ie: "how can I live a life that feels fun and fulfilling within the budget I currently have; how can I learn to love the body I am in; how can I set stronger boundaries and express my needs in my relationships?" and see what a difference it makes.
Beginning therapy can be a good step in creating the space in your life to ask these questions and to begin to create the life plan that works for you. Finding a positive therapeutic relationship with a qualified therapist can also help provide the support you need on your journey to your best life. As you step into this new year full of hope and possibility, begin with a commitment to live this new year more authentically, be more fulfilled, and have more happiness this year than the one you just left behind.
If you are looking to find support towards making that change to your life, relationship, or in finding a connection to your authentic self, give us a call. Our therapists are committed to helping you live your best life and relationship. Let this year be your best year ever!