Being a Good Steward of Love

(Part One of the April Series: Desire vs. Capability)

Photo by Nathan Hanna on Unsplash

It’s springtime. The days are getting longer, the weather’s warming up, and maybe — just maybe — you’re feeling the stirrings of possibility again.

Maybe you’re thinking about dusting off your dating profile or saying yes to more social invites, hoping to bump into your next special someone. Or, if you’re already in a relationship, maybe this season feels like a fresh start — another chance to get things right.

It’s a hopeful time of year. And hope is a beautiful thing.

But before you jump into the next love story — whether it’s something new or a renewal of what already is — there’s one question I want you to ask yourself:

Are you ready to care for what you say you want?

The Responsibility of What You Begged For

Maybe you remember being a kid and begging your parents for a pet.

“Please, I swear I’ll take care of it! I’ll walk it, feed it, do everything — just please let me have one!”

Now, most parents don’t make that decision based on whether their child deserves a pet — though it might feel that way when you’re the one begging. Usually, the hesitation is about whether you’re ready for the responsibility.

Your parents weren’t asking, “Is this kid worthy of love, joy, or a furry companion?”

They were asking themselves:

“Can we trust our child with this responsibility?”

And that’s the same question I want to ask you about love. Because the true question to ask yourself is not just, do you want love?

It’s can you truly care for it once it’s yours?

You Don’t Have to Earn Love — But You Do Have to Learn to Steward It

Let’s be clear: you don’t have to earn love in the sense of worthiness. You are worthy of love simply because you exist.

But stewardship is different. Love may be freely given, but it doesn’t thrive on good intentions alone.

Being a good steward of love means being emotionally present, communicative, self-aware, and willing to grow. It means showing up not just during the high points, but also in the boring, hard, unglamorous moments.

Love isn’t just about deserving someone — it’s about protecting what you build.

And building well requires care, consistency, and capability.

The Gap Between the Fantasy and the Reality of Love

We all carry stories about love. That it will feel magical. That the right person will just get us. That once we find them, things will fall into place.

But here’s the truth I’ve learned after years of sitting with couples on the brink of collapse:

There’s a big difference between the fantasy of love and the reality of the responsibility of love.

Falling in love feels natural. But relationship skills are hard earned.

Many people pour energy into finding love, winning someone back, or proving they deserve another chance — but never pause to ask:

What will I do with it once I have it?

Questions to Ask Yourself This Spring

Before you get back out there — or recommit to what you already have — take a moment to reflect:

• Am I showing up as a good steward of the love I already have?

• Could I use some time to love myself before taking on the responsibility of loving another?

• What kind of love am I truly offering someone else right now?

• Am I focused on finding love, or being someone who can steward it?

The Real Question Isn’t “Do You Deserve Love?”

Because the answer to that is yes. You do. We all do.

But that’s not the question that shapes the health of a relationship.

The real question is:

Can love trust you?

Can another person trust you to tend to their heart — not just in the honeymoon phase, but when life gets messy, boring, or complicated?

Can you be counted on — not just to fall in love, but to stay in love through action?

That’s the heart of stewardship. And it’s what separates those who dream of love from those who are ready to care for it.

So How Do You Become a Good Steward of Love?

It starts with what I call the 4 S’s of Safety — the foundation of any strong, healthy relationship:

• Self-Awareness — Knowing your own patterns, triggers, and beliefs about love.

• Stability — Building a life that isn’t in constant chaos, so you have the bandwidth for connection.

• Self-Regulation — Managing your emotions without dumping them on your partner.

• Self-Expression — Learning to communicate openly and honestly, even when it’s hard.
  

These aren’t personality traits — they’re skills. And like all good skills, they can be practiced and strengthened over time.

And what better time to start than spring?

After all, April showers bring May flowers.

So if you want to see love bloom later this year, now’s the time to water the ground. Reflect. Grow. And prepare yourself to be a good steward of love.

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If you’re ready to explore what kind of partner you are — and where you still need to grow — check out the free STRONG Relationship Toolkit download. It’s a quick tool to help you reflect on the skills that matter most in sustaining love.

And stay tuned:

Part Two of the April blog series is coming soon, and we’re stepping up to the plate. Because believe it or not, love has a lot in common with baseball. ⚾